With A Professional's Eyes
by whitenightshadows
Summary: This is 'Choke' from Carmen Tibideaux's point of view, contains the auditions and the missing conversation between her and Will that I think they should've had about who sings what, how often and why. There's no character bashing, but it does include a well-earned criticism towards Will and his decisions regarding New Directions. Ignores the plot of 'Nationals' and 'Goodbye'.


**Author's Note: Obviously this is a oneshot, because I found Ms. Tibideaux's behavior, hm, inconsequential to say the least in Nationals and Goodbye (by that I mean giving in to Rachel), so I'm just writing this about Choke. If you wouldn't like to read anything negative about Will Schuester, you shouldn't read this, although none of my criticism is offensive or uncivil (or untrue, by the way), so I meant it when I wrote there'd be no bashing. Because there is none. The fanfiction is purely educational.**

With A Professional's Eyes

Carmen Tibideaux was not particularly looking forward to her visit to William McKinley High School; there were only two candidates, one of whom she'd only decided to see because she was coming to Lima anyway. Yes, the girl had potential, but she wasn't so sure about the boy. His résumé was interesting, but not exactly promising; during the four years he spent in high school he only sang one song at a competition, where his glee club (The Warblers from Dalton Academy), ironically, lost. He took part in a total of one school play, where he had a minor part that didn't require either singing or dancing. Other than that he had only a few extracurricular activities listed, such as having been part of the cheerleading squad.

And that was precisely what captured Ms. Tibideaux's attention. She looked up the 'Cheerios' and found several videos of the team's winning performance at the Nationals Competition from last year. Consequently, she also found out that the boy, Kurt Hummel, had an intriguing voice and definitely had the physical condition that was required of a Broadway performer. Watching that video, it occurred to her that the boy might just be a countertenor (or very close to being one), but that was a rare ability, so even though she felt a spark of hope, she decided not to have such high expectations. Nevertheless, that fourteen and a half minutes long Celine Dion song (sung in French) was Kurt Hummel's ticket to his audition, but that alone wasn't enough to convince Carmen Tibideaux; he'll have to show how good he is when it comes to show choir, to prove that he belongs to not just any stage, but to Broadway.

The girl, Rachel Berry, seemed a much simpler case. Her résumé was impeccable; competition solos every year, lead actress in West Side Story, a member of at least twenty clubs at school and countless victories at dancing and singing competitions throughout her childhood. Yes, she seemed capable and while Ms. Tibideaux felt a little skeptical reading her seemingly perfect résumé, she was nevertheless looking forward to her performance. She has watched all of the New Directions' videos, starring their lead soloist Rachel Berry and has seen the girl sing pop songs, musicals and ballads, so she was sure that she would, at least, hear the standard, high-quality singing she expected.

When Ms. Tibideaux arrived at McKinley, she was greeted by one William Schuester. She recognized him as the director of New Directions and she eagerly accepted his invitation to sit down in his office and talk a little about the two candidates. She meant to talk to him both before and after the auditions, because a director always knew all the strengths and weaknesses of his performers, even those that aren't usually revealed while singing, but could still prove to be useful information for an educator.

After a few minutes of polite chit-chat, Ms. Tibideaux decided to address the topic that occupied both their minds.

"So, Mr. Schuester, what can you tell me about these youngsters? What are they like in your experience?"

Will looked quite stunned that someone as experienced and influential would be interested in his opinion, but he eagerly answered, "Well, Rachel has a lot of potential. I mean, as far as I've seen, she's the best out there; not just in New Directions, but also compared to other singers in the neighborhood. We, um…," he paused for a second and scratched the back of his head. "We've never won Nationals, but last year we could have and it's completely because of Rachel and Finn, our co-captains," Ms. Tibideaux's motionless expression changed at that. Will, noticing her raised eyebrow, quickly struggled to offer an explanation. "Finn is, er, a very nice, very talented boy… But we were talking about Rachel..."

Ms. Tibideaux interrupted then, "So, in your professional opinion, are the club's successes the merit of Miss Berry?"

"No, well, no, not entirely. I mean, there are so many talented kids in the glee club! They are all stars and they're just waiting for their chance to shine. And Rachel, she fights very hard for applause and appreciation and her whole life is Broadway and Barbra Streisand."

Ms. Tibideaux seemed quite unimpressed by this speech, but decided not to comment on it. "And what's Mr. Hummel's contribution to the glee club?" she asked instead.

"You see, Kurt is very special. He went through a lot, he even had to change schools in his junior year, but he's a very strong part of New Directions and I couldn't imagine the club without him. He's very talented and like Rachel, he's very determined to make his dreams come true," Will was slightly put out by Ms. Tibideaux's unfazed expression and he suddenly felt like he was in high school again, as if he was the one who'd be auditioning in five minutes.

Ms. Tibideaux shook her head, "What I meant was, what do you have to say about his voice? It's rather high for a teenage boy and I wonder about his vocal range."

"Yes, Kurt's voice is, um, unusually high. He, er, Rachel and him once had a diva-off, when they sang Defying Gravity and Kurt missed that high F just by the tiniest bit. But despite that, his voice is exceptional," Will was a bit concerned, he didn't want to ruin Kurt's chances at his audition, so he wasn't sure about mentioning the Defying Gravity-incident, but he figured that not being able to hit a high F couldn't actually be a disadvantage, for these are details that can be altered through training. And no one knew this better than the dean of Vocal Performance and Song Interpretation, so there was probably nothing to worry about.

He was snapped out of his reverie by Ms. Tibideaux's even voice. "I noticed he hasn't sung any songs in competitions while being part of New Direction. Why is that?"

"Why, um, well…," Will was feeling uncomfortable, because he could hardly have said that it was Rachel's fault, that she was the one who never allowed anyone to have solos, because that would've reflected badly on Rachel. He didn't want to say point-blank that Kurt didn't want it enough or that Rachel was more talented, because that would endanger Kurt's chances, but neither did he want to jeopardize the woman's view of Rachel. It was a delicate situation, but Will was convinced that Rachel's chances must stay intact and that he was the last person who would ever damage them. "It was very unfortunate, but Kurt transferred to Dalton at the exact time when he was offered a solo. After that, at Nationals, I decided to feature other talents in the group, for Kurt already sang a duet at Regionals. This year he had a part at Sectionals of course, and as for Nationals, we're still working on our set list."

It didn't escape Ms. Tibideaux's notice that this reply was slightly evasive, but it wasn't unreasonable and didn't seem untrue, so she let it slide. She had a feeling that she'd find out more at the auditions, so she mentioned it was time for them to take their seats and listen to the two candidates. Mr. Schuester offered to carry her bag and showed her to the auditorium. She took her pen and paper out, ready to write down all the necessary information and called out, "Kurt Hummel."

The familiar young man soon walked onstage, wearing a costume from The Phantom of the Opera. Slightly unoriginal for someone who used to be a cheerleader, but Carmen Tibideaux was a professional, so she wouldn't let her disappointment be seen.

The boy introduced himself in that all-too-familiar terrified tone, then commented on how common his song choice was (unusual) and after hearing his suspicion confirmed, he said that he's changed his mind. Ms. Tibideaux was beyond surprised at such an occurrence and she tilted her head expectantly.

Meanwhile, Kurt Hummel threw his mask away (dramatic) and invited three girls onstage (explains why he was so ready to sing another song) and announced that he would be singing Not the Box Next Door. While Ms. Tibideaux wouldn't usually approve of last-minute changes, the song choice was bold and (if he lived up to it) it would also be a welcome one.

In a few seconds' time, she could see that it was a pleasant change indeed. She was really interested in Kurt Hummel's vocal range and it seemed promising to say the least; she remembered him singing 4 Minutes in quite a low register, so she knew he could sing Not the Boy Next Door as it was supposed to be sung, but the young man had changed the key and was singing it significantly higher. It didn't take long for Ms. Tibideaux to realize that the last note would be a high G.

She wondered how it was possible that his director didn't know that his range has improved, for by the third refrain she was convinced that he could, he will, belt the high G out. She pulled her papers closer and with a faint smile she wrote down a single word; _countertenor_. And of course Carmen Tibideaux was right; he managed to belt out the note. She wondered briefly how she should praise the confident young man, as right now, she didn't have the heart to be critical. So instead of saying them, she just wrote down her objections (the quite primitive choreography, the vocally not very challenging song) and finally complemented him.

"You know, Hugh Jackman won a Tony Award for playing Peter Allen. He trained with me the summer I was in residence at the Sydney Opera House. And I'm certain… that he would've been as impressed with what you did with that song as I am. A bold choice, young man, I congratulate you for taking such a risk today," she said with a proud smile. She watched the boy leave, awkward and overcome with joy, and she realized that Kurt Hummel was the type of person who it was easy to root for and she was glad she gave him a chance.

Her patronizing mood passed by the time Rachel Berry's audition was about to begin, being replaced with a neutral curiosity. She called out the girl's name, who walked in with an air of confidence. It seemed her director was right about Miss Berry's admiration for Barbra Streisand, as she said she'd be singing Don't Rain on My Parade. That, just like The Music of the Night, was a standard choice and Ms. Tibideaux remembered that the girl had sung it before at one of the glee club's competitions. So Miss Berry was playing it safe.

She let her start over the first time she got the lyrics wrong. It was surprising; she never made such a mistake at their competitions, and although she was skeptical (once you make a mistake, it's very difficult to find focus again), she raised no objections. Maybe she'll pull herself together.

But she didn't. The second time it was the rhythm, and it clearly made no sense to let her continue her audition. "No," she stated. "You get eight bars, I gave you sixteen. Do you know what happens when you forget the words on Broadway? They give the job to your understudy. I'm very sorry but this audition is over," she took her bag and papers and left the auditorium.

It was true, she did feel sorry for the girl, but rules were rules, and if someone wasn't prepared to do a simple audition, then she most definitely wasn't prepared to perform on Broadway. In the long run, she was doing a favor for Miss Rachel Berry, for she has seen actors choke onstage before and that was a thousand times worse than choking before an educator. But one thing was for certain; her next conversation with William Schuester would be far more interesting than their last.

They sat down at The Lima Bean that afternoon. Mr. Schuester kept on rambling; apologizing and explaining himself while they placed and waited for their order, found a table and settled down. It seemed as if he would never stop talking.

"I honestly have no idea what happened. It's not… it's so unlike Rachel. She's never choked up like that before and I'm su-," at this point Ms. Tibideaux raised her hand and made the tiniest motion, but it was enough to make the man stop. She seemed to be weighing her words, calculating their effect.

"I have no doubt that Miss Berry is a gifted singer as I have seen many of the New Direction's performances. However, if the pressure of the stage is too much for her then there's nothing I can do - and clearly it was too much for her."

"I just don't understand," Will sighed and shrugged in utter helplessness. "We've gone so far together and Rachel's never been nervous or frightened onstage before . If anything, she was all too eager to perform."

Ms. Tibideaux nodded, because she was familiar with the wavering quality of artists' work. Miss Berry was not an isolated case. "Nerves. I suspect the importance of this audition was what made her so… insecure. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for performers to be crushed by the weight of their own expectations," she felt there was nothing left to say, but the man opposite her looked so lost and defeated that she decided not to drop the topic just yet.

"Look, Mr. Schuester. Rachel Berry made a mistake today and mistakes are not allowed on Broadway; not now, not ever. But that doesn't mean Miss Berry lacks talent and shouldn't keep performing," Will was listening somewhat hopefully now, waiting in anticipation; _was she about to offer a second chance?_ "There are many other options beside Broadway. She could work in a studio, for recording doesn't require her to be onstage. Or she could go to cinematography, where she wouldn't be expected to do a live performance in front of a large audience," Ms. Tibideaux paused for a second. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but if she starts working on her issues, such careers would be possible."

Will was at a loss; Rachel having issues? Rachel leaving the stage? No, surely Ms. Tibideaux wasn't suggesting that Rachel should give up her dream. One mistake cannot define her whole life. "But… but it happened just once. And I've seen her perform a thousand times and there weren't any problems or mistakes there. She was just having a bad day today, she's under a lot of pressure-"

"Which she clearly can't handle," interrupted Ms Tibideaux, her voice irritated. "I've had this conversation before with Miss Berry; there's no second chance on Broadway. It's over. What I'm saying is that she could continue pursuing her dream, given that she is prepared to alter it," she was losing her temper as she watched the man's hurt, defiant expression, and as she realized this argument was going nowhere, she rather brought up the more obvious and hopefully more productive topic. "What I'm more interested in, is the case of Kurt Hummel."

She could see Mr. Schuester's face turn uneasy, but she wasn't about to tiptoe around his self-esteem. If he couldn't understand the word _no_, if he was strong enough to keep fighting for Rachel Berry, then he'd have to be strong enough to take any sort of criticism directed at himself and accept her opinion on the gifted young man, especially regarding the neglect he's been treated with.

"I wonder why I haven't heard him sing at competitions, why he isn't one of the lead singers when he's so undoubtedly talented," Ms. Tibideaux was once again composed, and she raised one eyebrow while waiting for the man's response.

"Kurt's had every chance to sing, but I think… he just… he just wasn't fighting hard enough for solos. There's no tyranny in New Directions," Will declared, still upset by the cold shoulder the dean of NYADA has given Rachel. A moment later he added, "I admit that Rachel is usually very set on taking the lead, but she doesn't get to sing everything; Finn, Santana, Mercedes, Quinn, Sam, Puck, Artie, Tina, Mike, Blaine - they all have sung at competitions before, and if Kurt had been trying harder, he would've had more chance, too."

Ms. Tibideaux didn't seem impressed by his reasoning and the irony was unmistakable in her voice as she replied, "You mean more than the five lines he's sung." Her voice was dry. "I have seen his résumé, Mr. Schuester. He had a tiny part in Anyway You Want It and a slightly bigger one in ABC, while the group's male lead, whose name I cannot recall, had been singing countless songs even though he's not a promising performer."

Will felt his anger rising; Finn had nothing to do with that. "If you've seen our performances, then you know that we usually do ballads and soft rock, that's why we need a classical, manlier male lead. Kurt's voice is too unique, too high for that. So any part Kurt can or wants to sing, belongs to Rachel, not Finn. As for Rachel being the lead singer, I guess you can understand that we live in Ohio, so a gay boy singing a solo or a duet with another boy wouldn't really win us the audience's or the judges' sympathy."

_And what about Nationals in New York last year?_ Ms. Tibideaux's face was neutral, but her tone betrayed her indignation. "Are you sure Mr. Hummel couldn't sing lower? Because I've heard his low register and to me he seemed capable. What's his vocal range?" She was interested in his answer; knowing the boy was a countertenor didn't mean she knew his limits as well. She wondered whether he would be better or worse than she imagined.

She couldn't have been more surprised if Mr. Schuester had suddenly declared his undying love for her, than how shocked she was at the moment she realized the man couldn't give her an answer. The director of a show choir not knowing the range of the members. A teacher not knowing the abilities of his students. It was shameful, and as a professional, Carmen Tibideaux couldn't let this go unmentioned.

"I admit I'm surprised, very unpleasantly surprised indeed. A director must be aware of the abilities of his performers, otherwise he wouldn't know whom to highlight. The children could take care of choosing the songs themselves, directors are necessary for measuring, nursing and developing their talent," the man opposite her was clearly embarrassed and it suddenly occurred to Ms. Tibideaux that this was Lima, Ohio, so there was a huge possibility that he was just some enthusiastic History teacher, who knew nothing of managing a glee club. She continued in a less reprimanding tone. "Shy students will always try to hide their talent and they may go unnoticed, if we don't test them regularly. Miss Berry puts herself out there and she has potential, but that doesn't mean she's the best. Maybe you established the group's dynamics based on incorrect information and assumptions, rather than proven facts." Of course a young man singing Not the Boy Next Door could hardly be described as shy, but judging from Miss Berry's audition, she wasn't used to being turned down, so Ms. Tibideaux could imagine that her teammates (including Kurt Hummel) would prefer to avoid confrontation with her, even if it meant losing solos.

Mr. Schuester's shoulders were slumped and he wore a clueless expression as he spoke, "Well, I… yes, Rachel has always been trying to stand out, but these kids were never fighting for solos. Sure thing, they've had diva-offs and boys versus girls competitions, but there weren't serious disagreements about the status quo. If it really bothered them, they could always have come to me," he seemed to be deep in thought. "Kurt has never complained to me, neither in private nor in glee club… I don't think he wanted that, wants this, as bad as Rachel. If he did, he should've, _he would've_, fought for it. But he never did."

Yes, that was right. Rachel shouldn't be judged for doing her best and he wasn't judging Kurt for not standing up for himself; all of them were stars and Kurt was doing the right thing letting others shine - that was how it was supposed to be.

Ms. Tibideaux cast him a sharp glance. "It's not a student's job to fight for recognition – there is no _should've _and _would've_ when it comes to children. We, as educators, are responsible for their achievements. We have to find talent and help develop it. It's our job to make these children sing, to prevent them from being stifled. As far as I've seen it, Miss Berry has a deep desire to perform and you are letting her take her teammates' place. You're the one who has to tell her no, you must make her understand that she's not the only showcasable member of New Directions, " the young teacher looked stunned. "On Broadway, teamwork is above everything, and until a performer has learned that she's part of a team first of all, not a soloist, not a lead actress, she's not allowed to go onstage. At least not when I'm present."

"And I'm not blaming Miss Berry for her selfishness or Mr. Hummel for his yielding, for they are children, they follow their instincts. It's the director who mustn't ever allow his performers to either stay in the background or refuse to step down from their established place. An educator, a leader, cannot have a favorite and silence others in favor of one person."

Will was once again feeling terrible facing such an accusation. "That's, that's not… I-I've never intentionally silenced anyone. Rachel… Rachel is our leader because she's the best. I want us to win, so I let Finn and Rachel sing, but they've earned it. It's their talent that makes them leaders, not my feelings," he felt his stomach twist inside as he thought of Finn. Maybe he was a bit partial when it came to Finn, but he was so like him; he knew how good he was, so of course he made him a leader. He knew all Finn needed was a little push and he was determined to grant him that. Was it possible that he forgot about the others while trying to help Finn? But that was definitely not the case with Rachel, she was simply the best.

"And only those should sing songs at competitions who you deemed the best years ago? Kurt Hummel isn't suited to sing a ballad with a girl, ergo he shouldn't sing at all? Do you even know what that boy is? He's a countertenor," there was no denying Ms. Tibideaux's anger now. "Your poor directing nearly crushed this boy's dream. Do you know I only gave this boy the time of day because I had to come here anyway? I thought he wouldn't be anything extraordinary because if he were, _he_ would be singing, not Miss Berry and her partner. I would have missed out on a countertenor because you picked Rachel Berry and denied others their chance."

She could see how green Mr. Schuester looked and she pitied him. He was incompetent not just as a glee club manager but as an educator too. And that was a mistake. "You're a teacher. Your job is to know the limits of your students, help them and encourage them. But you also must control their self-assurance, otherwise they become too obsessed with their talent like Miss Berry." At that she stood up and started gathering her things. She was glad she had a chance to give this teacher a piece of her mind, for he was still young and he could learn from it, so maybe he wouldn't make such a mistake again. "Well, for now tell Miss Berry not to give up her dream altogether and try to support her within reason," she shot him a meaningful glance. "And as for Kurt Hummel… I'll be expecting to see more of him this year at Nationals. Good luck," with that she left, leaving an embarrassed Will Schuester behind, who, at the moment, could only nod and keep his eyes fixed on the table.

As Ms. Tibideaux headed to the next audition, she hoped she had made a difference.

**A/N. I'm not a vocal coach, so if Ms. Tibideaux drew any conclusion that she couldn't have been able to based on what she'd heard, I'm sorry and please forgive me... and perhaps point it out in a review! Because I'd love to have some reviews. And that was a hint. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
